The wonderful world of video games offers so much. We experience different worlds every day. You can play the role of the valiant hero or the treacherous villain, save entire civilizations or burn them to the ground. And all this, without leaving the comfort of our home.
However, a lot of people ignore or criticize our passion for video games. Some of them are in the right, honestly. Video games have many flaws, no matter do we like admitting, and some people just can’t get over that. That’s their business and we can’t really judge them.
Others, however, dismiss our love for games as silly, based solely on the very one-sided public image of the average gamer. Such people haven’t played video games in their life, other than the occasional Facebook title and base their views not on experience, but on others’ opinion.
When your loved one is one of those people, it’s only natural for you to want to show them what gaming is all about. But tread carefully, since introducing someone to our medium is a daunting task, fraught with challenges. One misstep and you might find yourself even more criticized on a daily basis.
That being said, let me share my own experience with this challenge. My fiancée isn’t strictly against games, nor does she criticize me for playing too much. She just doesn’t quite understand what I find in video games. So, I took it upon myself to show her and I learned a thing or two myself along the way.
Pick the right game
Snake Pass can be a great first game for most people.
Choosing the right game for someone is not easy, especially for veteran gamers. When someone asks you what they should play, I am willing to bet that most of you will immediately think of Fallout, Skyrim, Uncharted, or any other massive, beautiful game, chock-full of content. This is the worst possible advice you can give to a beginner.
Such games have so much to see and do that a newbie to the medium can easily feel lost. And no one likes feeling lost. The complexity of the game you choose must be limited.
Think of it this way – when you are learning how to drive a car, you don’t start with a 160-horsepower Italian turbo engine. You start with your mom’s boring-ass family van. The same concept applies to gaming.
You have to accept that the person you’ll be choosing a game for has no gaming literacy whatsoever. For you, it might be obvious that the green bar on the top left is your stamina and that the blood splatters on your screen mean you have to take cover, but you know this from experience. In most cases, your significant other will not have such experience.
Therefore, choose a game that is closer to what a “filthy casual” would play. Does your girlfriend enjoy playing Candy Crush Saga on her phone? Wonderful, pick a calm puzzle game like Snake Pass or Thomas Was Alone. Notice how the ones I offered are not match-three puzzles, but puzzle-platformers. This way, you can slowly begin the transition from the more casual games to something that is considered a masterpiece of our medium.
Or, maybe, your boyfriend is a great fan of rock music and never misses a local show. Then, the obvious choices are Rock Band and Guitar Hero. You can then move on to other rhythm games, such as Beatbuddy: Tale of the Guardians.
What’s important is to think not as a veteran gamer, but as a newcomer. Also, make sure you cater to your loved one’s interests. For example, my fiancée doesn’t like games that rely on action too much, because she wants to calm down and chill after work. So, we started with Trine, because “it looks like a fairytale” and Snake Pass, because it’s cute and you can play at your own pace.
Be present, but not in their way
As someone who knows their way around video games, you might find the learning experience of your loved one boring and the beginning stages might be slow. But despite that, you should be there with them during that time. Don’t just hand them a controller, go out and return two hours later, expecting to find them glued to the screen.
Remember, this is a new experience for them. It might be overwhelming and it’s your job to gently guide them through it. I say gently because you don’t want to be a backseat driver. Just like you hate when someone tells you how to drive, they will hate when you tell them how to play.
Offer your advice sparely and only when they ask for it. Entering the world of gaming today comes with a steep learning curve, due to the many advances that the industry made the past twenty years. Allow them to experience that learning curve on their own pace.
And by “be present”, I don’t mean to be present in the game with them. Whatever you do, do not start them off with a multiplayer game, be it a couch co-op one or a competitive one. You might think that this is the best way for them to learn, but it will suck a big portion of the fun out of it.
Think about it. When you’re playing a new game and everyone is far better than you, do you enjoy it as much as when the skill level is equal? This applies to co-op games too, since you will know how to finish the level and you will do all the work. In the meantime, they will be sitting next to you, bored out of their minds.
Just pick up a book or open a game on your phone and be next to them for when they have questions and need your guidance. And, in the name of Talos, don’t appear bored or frustrated. This will only discourage them, especially considering that you are the one who wants to introduce them to the medium.
Do not force them into it
I cannot stress this enough. Do not, I repeat, do not force them to play. It’s okay to offer them to try it. If they refuse, just drop it. You can always offer again next time.
When they decide that they want to try playing, let them play as much as they want. Do not take the controller away under any circumstances, unless they give it to you. And when they decide they’re done, for now, this means that they’re done for now.
You have to understand that this whole experience is something your loved one is not familiar with. They might be fascinated when they pick up the controller or want to take baby steps. Let them go through it their own way.
However, the most important advice I can give you is to accept that they may never like games. Different people have different interests, making our world so colorful and bright. Every person you meet will be unique because of what they like, hate, or don’t care about. Embrace that and accept that you might be the only gamer in that relationship, and that’s okay.
